True Tales of the South - Vol 1

Returning to Austin recently from a friend's wedding in Athens, GA, Wife and I had a layover in Houston. While Wife was napping, I spotted a guy at our gate furtively picking his nose. I nudged Wife and pointed out the picker to her, but he spotted me spotting him. The jig was up. I whispered to Wife that if he got on the plane first, she was going to have to walk in front of me to be a human shield. Sure enough he was in first class. Wife made it past him as we walked by. But as soon as I got to him, he stood up rather suddenly. I startle easily, so I "busted a grumpy", as a friend likes to say. It was silent, swift, and deadly, like a Navy Seal, and I'm sure his freshly-cleared nostrils caught it in full bloom. Turns out he wasn't lunging for me though, he was just reaching for something in his carry-on bag. The end.